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Posts Tagged ‘family’

In Before The Knife Carolyn Slaughter describes her childhood, a fraught, anxious prelude to an adulthood that continued to suffer from its heritage. She tells us early on in the book what caused this anguish, and what gave rise to its associated self-pity, self-abuse and anger. She was raped by her father at the age of six. But then the book unfolds almost without another mention of the trauma until its reality is finally recognized, long after the father, the self-tortured mother, and even the younger sister have gone to their graves.

Carolyn Slaughter’s life, though not fully acknowledged in the book, could only have been lived in a narrow window of history. The British Empire, always eager to install a white face in a position of colonial authority where people of race might not be trusted, elevated many lower middle class émigrés to effective aristocracy. It meant that they could only feel at home, that is, only attain the status they assumed, if they lived outside of the Sceptred Isle. Carolyn’s mother had been born and brought up in India. She had grown used to a life with servants, where sewing, cooking and cleaning could be delegated to the competent. This created time for the important things in life, like deciding what to wear for dinner, what would go with what, and whether the lunch invitees would gel. Not that there were many expatriates to invite in the Kalahari Desert.

Carolyn Slaughter seems to have lived an itinerant’s life. More significantly she seems to have adopted an itinerant relationship with life. It happened as a result of denial, as a result of not accepting or acknowledging what happened to her. The father, a shop worker back home, was a District Commissioner in the Empire when his white face provided his main qualification. His wife, Carolyn’s mother, unable to accept what the daughter had told her or, indeed what evidence proved, slumped into a private depression that never left her.

The author’s African childhood was almost wholly unhappy, even depressing. Her tantrums angered others, her self-abuse threatened her own life, and yet the father who was the source of the tragedy soldiered on, apparently stoically, delivering whatever duty the assumptions of Empire might demand.

There were times when I lost touch with the sense of depression and foreboding, periods in the book when I knew things were lighter and brighter than the reminiscences suggested. Occasionally, the weight being borne got too much. But then I had a happy childhood, without abuse, indeed with love, affection, and support throughout, so who am I to criticize this insight into a world I never knew?

So, towards the end of the account, when the horror of the abuse can be re-lived in later life and thus partially expunged, we can sense the destructive havoc it has wreaked through the family’s life. It’s a rather one-paced account, but the seriousness of its focus justifies its form.

Dr. Archibald D Hart’s Sleep, It Does a Family Good is by far the best guide I’ve read to date about sleeping and its effects on health. In today’s fast-paced society, sleep has been casually cast aside as unimportant, when in fact, neglecting sleep is very dangerous to people’s health and can also negatively impact relationships, families, and marriages.

With Sleep, It Does a Family Good, Dr. Hart has created a well-crafted and simple-to-read informative health guide on sleeping and how it is crucial and essential in leading a full, rich, and satisfying life. Many people today believe that napping and sleeping are self-indulging signs of mental weakness; whereas Dr. Hart assures us that these misconceptions will shave years off our lives by causing increased stress and generating lower levels of happiness. Dr. Hart also teaches readers strategies on how to overcome worries and anxiety while trying to fall asleep at night, which is ultimately helpful since the majority of people are impacted by this obstacle. From mastering sleep patterns, overcoming spousal sleep barriers, and to educating on sleeping pills, Dr. Hart leaves no stone unturned on the subject of sleep.

Sleep, It Does a Family Good is wonderful and informative to read because sleep really is more important than people give it credit for. Society’s neglectful views toward sleeping and the popular quote along the lines of “I’ll sleep plenty when I die” is too dangerous, and just adds to more common existing health risks such as obesity and poor eating habits. Another benefit of Dr. Hart’s book is that he explains how poor sleeping habits will affect family growth and marriages. I recommend this book to EVERYONE, especially those who are looking to enhance their health and well-being. Excellent book, and I intend on keeping Sleep, It Does a Family Good in my personal collection to share with friends and family.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Tyndale House Publishers as part of their book review program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Beauty and Fashion
When it comes to beauty and fashion, helpful books abound. Books such as James Wong’s book entitled ‘Grow Your Own Drugs: Easy Recipes for Natural Remedies and Beauty Treats’. James Wong has a MSc in Ethnobotany from the University of Kent so he knows his subject. Basically, the book covers all the various natural remedies that you can grow and distill in your own garden to use as complementary therapies and to produce many natural beauty products. It is certainly an interesting book and pops a lot of questions into your mind – read it to find out what I mean!

Complementary Medicine
James Wong’s book naturally drifts over into the sector on complementary medicine and, I would reiterate – this book is certainly worthy of more than a cursory glance. Another interesting and useful book on complementary medicine is Louisa L. Hay’s book ‘You Can Heal Your Life’, a book that has been a bestseller for a number of years. Apart from the interesting and useful information contained within the pages of her book, you will find exquisite illustrations by Joan Perrin Falquet on each page. Apart from highly recommending this book, I would suggest you read this book in conjunction with Rhonda Byrne’s ‘The Secret’ – each book complements the other and offers very closely similar messages.

Diet and Nutrition
There have probably been more books written on dieting than practically any other subject – fad diets, celebrity diets, dietitian-recommended diets: in fact, you name it and it has probably been written about. Then we have the Harcombe Diet and the Holcombe Diet – and, of course, Paul McKenna ‘I Can Make You Thin’ which comes complete with a CD as well. The book by Zoe Harcombe ‘The Harcombe Diet – Stop Counting Calories and Start Losing Weight’ is actually a book based on very sound nutritional principles. The concept behind this book is easy to follow and makes sensible nutritional sense.

With regards to the Holcombe Diet, that is more of a lifestyle nutritional book that advises on cooking in a nutritional way. Holcombe’s book is entitled ‘How to Feed Your Whole Family a Healthy Balanced Diet, with Very Little Money and Hardly Any Time, Even if You Have a Tiny Kitchen, Only Three Saucepans (one with an ill-fitting lid) and no fancy gadgets – unless you count the garlic crusher’. The title is a bit of a mouthful (sorry about the pun!) but it does reflect the fun nature contained within the book. This is sound nutritional information, presented in a light-hearted, fun way that gets the message of healthy eating for the whole family across.

Family and Parents
Continuing with the theme of healthy eating for the family, Annabel Karmel has written a book about meal planning for the baby and toddler that continues to be a bestseller on the nutrition of babies and toddlers. The ‘Essential Guide to Feeding Babies and Young Children’ was first published in 1991 and hasn’t been out of print since. Annabel Karmel has now published the ‘New Complete Baby and Toddler Meal Planner’ which features home-cooked meals based on fresh, natural ingredients and integrates menu charts to make it easy to plan your shopping trips in advance.

Fitness and Exercise
Moving away from the theme of nutrition and dietetics, the fitness and exercise section features a pretty diverse collection of books from ‘Strength Training Anatomy’ by Frederic Delavier to ‘The Anatomy of Stretching’ by Brad Walker. A book that I have found in the Fitness and Exercise section is ‘Born to Run: the Hidden Tribe, the Ultra-Runners, and the Greatest Race the World has Never Seen: The Rise of Ultra-Running and the Super-Athlete Tribe’. This title is another mouthful, this time written by Christopher McDougall. It is a tale of endurance, of adventure – with that odd quirk that makes an ordinary book special. It should be way up there with the best sellers. Basically, it’s a story of Christopher McDougall running across the planet where no man should have gone before – but, there is much, much more to this book – and I am not about to spoil it for you by telling you any more about it. Read it for yourself – you will be very glad you did!

Men’s Health and Lifestyle
One book I would encourage every man and his partner to read is the book by Professor Jane Plant: ‘Prostate Cancer: Understand, Prevent and Overcome Prostate Cancer’. Many men are only vaguely aware of their prostate until it starts causing problems with the ‘waterworks’. However, what men need to be made aware of is that prostate cancer really can be the silent killer – unless it is caught early enough. Prostate cancer rarely gives any obvious symptoms until it is too late but, if you are fortunate enough for it to be caught early enough, prostate cancer is completely curable.

At present there are no routine tests to check for prostate cancer as the only real indication is the Prostate Specific Antigen in the blood. In a man of around 50 years old, his PSA level should never be above 3 – and, if it is above that level, he needs to see his doctor. Get it checked out – it may be nothing but, if this indicator gives you an idea that all may not be well, at least you have been given a chance of treatment before it’s too late. If there is one book out of the whole of our book-site that I would recommend, it would be this one – it could save your life!

Relationships, romance and marriage out of social class can bring shame to the London’s high-society, but what happens when tables are turned on their heads and the servant becomes wealthier than his high-classed family employer? Oh you have to read this book;

“Again the Magic” by Lisa Kleypas; Avon Historical Romance [an imprint of Harper Collins Publishers] New York, NY; 2004.

Lisa Kleypas has a passion for passion and she has over two-dozen steamy, best selling, hot romance books. It’s no wonder she hits the New York Times best sellers list so often with books like:

• Because You’re Mine
• Dreaming of You
• Lady Sophia’s Lover
• Midnight Angel
• Only in Your Arms
• Only with Your Love
• Prince of Dreams
• Someone to Watch Over Me
• Somewhere I’ll Find You
• Stranger in My Arms
• Suddenly You
• Then Came You
• When Strangers Marry
• Where Dreams Begin
• Worth Any Price

And realize this is only the list before 2004, some of her latest stuff is very excellent and blows away her older works. She is a writing maniac putting out quality romance books every couple of months or more.

This book is about a wealthy young woman, destined to marry well and then gave herself to one of her families servants, and then all hell breaks loose and she is sent far away from the high-class London Society where her family dominates. Turns out the servant goes off and becomes extremely wealthy and is so angry for being sent away, he wants revenge, but then finds the woman of his dreams again and is trust back deeply in love.

Yes, this is a great romance novel with a bit of historical fiction to boot. I’d recommend this book to any romance novel reader, it’s pretty decent, and that is coming from a man who never really cared for this genre.

About thirty-seven years ago when a friend of mine gave birth to a baby boy, she called herself Grandma Moses. That sounded far from the truth, because she was only forty-two and her baby and her family came along just fine through the child-raising process. It has been quite a few years now since her very brilliant son has become a successful medical doctor.

When I came across this astute and practical book, “So Glad We Waited: A Hand-Holding Guide for Over-35 Parents,” I remembered my friend and smiled. So much has changed over the last few decades and for the better. Luckily, educators like Lois Nachamie have come along with books on the subject and have founded classes and therapy groups for older parents. This book makes parenthood in later ages something to aim for, because during the more mature ages, the babies are created by design and desire.

In the author’s words: “As with every other family issue, we older moms have the same concerns as everyone, but our age intensifies the experience. We have more options–yet more at stake.”

“So Glad We Waited” is divided into three parts.

In the first part, “Who We Are and How We Got Here,” the first chapter addresses who the older parents might be, and the second chapter lets the mature mothers speak their minds on the subject with their own words.

In the second part, “Rearranging Our Lives,” are the chapters three to ten as the true meat of the book or its how-to resources, dealing with domestic duties, reconnecting as a couple, one adult families, mothers coming to an understanding with their own mothers, working, careers, nannies, aging bodies, hormones, relationships, and sex. The author gives down-to-earth advice to parents of advanced age with conviction and persuasion. Her interviews with the contented mothers prove the thesis that being an older parent is just as blissful and may not be as difficult as surmised by most.

The third part of the book, “Raising Our Children: Tailor-Made Parenting Tips,” has three chapters, bringing the book to thirteen chapters in total. In the last chapters, the author alerts the parents to possible pitfalls of child raising during the advanced ages like overindulgence and dealing effectively with discipline problems.

The final chapter, “Assuming the Mantle of Parenthood,” is my favorite chapter. Feeling a slight envy, I wish this book had existed–in addition to Dr. Spock’s–and I had read this chapter thirty some years ago when I was raising my children, although I was barely thirty at the time. This goes to show that, while this book may be addressing mature mothers, any parent of any age can benefit from it because of its very sound parenting advice.

The author’s writing style is direct, warm, and convincing throughout the book’s 272 pages. A reading list and selected web sites are recommended at the end of the book. “So Glad We Waited” is in paperback with ISBN: 0609803468.

The author, Lois Nachamie, MFA, CSW, LMSW, is a psychotherapist in Manhattan, specializing in family and parenting issues, and also, the founder and director of the So-Glad-We-Waited Network. Aside from her contributions to newspapers and magazines, her other book is “Big Lessons for Little People: Teaching Our Kids Right from Wrong While Keeping Them Healthy, Safe and Happy.”

In my opinion, most parents and parents-to-be will find this book very helpful. “So Glad We Waited: A Hand-Holding Guide for Over-35 Parents” may make a valuable addition to any library.